Have you ever noticed how some men ?(not all) are very unclean in the sense that they get far too much wear out of their socks or undies? I know that we are meant to be saving energy but hello turn down the temperature on the washer don't skip hygiene altogether!
They honestly see nothing wrong with blowing their nose on things and wearing them or eating their bogeys ewww is all i can say do i not feed you often enough or something?
And what is with leaving the toilet seat up if i wanted to fall in the loo i would lift up the lid myself, a typical response from a guy would be "well maybe if you left it up for me i would put it down for you" eh? are you insane its just tidier to put it down!
What really annoys me is if i have just washed the kitchen units down and my partner makes a brew leaving a tea mark there for me to struggle to scrub off again the next day would it kill you to clean it while it is fresh?
Jokes about men!
What do you call a man with half a brain?Gifted.
What''s the difference between government bonds and men?Bonds Mature.
What is the difference between a man and a catfish?One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
What did god say after creating man?I can do better.
Husband: Want a quickie?Wife: As opposed to what?
I went to the County Fair. They had one of those "Believe it or not?" Shows. They had a man born with a penis and a brain.
What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?A man''s undivided attention.
What are two reasons why men don''t mind their own business?1. No mind.2. No business.
Did you hear about the banker who''s a great lover?He knows first-hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
Why are men like laxatives?They irritate the shit out of you.
What do you call an intelligent man in America?A tourist.
Why do jocks play on artificial turf?To keep them from grazing.
If men got pregnant....abortions would be available in convenience stores and drive through windows.
Why do men name their penises?Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes all their decisions.
Why do men like masturbation?Its sex with someone they love.
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?Two ways to cross a river.
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?Three. One to hold the pan and two others to show off and shake the stove.
What is a man''s view of safe sex?A padded headboard.
How do men sort their laundry?"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.
Why did god create man?Because a vibrator can''t mow the lawn.
Has a man ever told you that he needs to masturbate or his penis will shrivel up or be damaged or something along those lines like "it will come out naturally anyway" do they really thing we are that simple? go.... masturbate just don't lie about it! And when we find your porn stash don't tell us you were going to sell it and had it for that reason only we are not simple! Just tell us the truth or hide it in a better place! lying makes the situation worse we are not stupid and in most cases if we say nothing more its because we can't be bothered to argue how stupid your excuse is!
I don't know if the same goes for all men but so far from what i have seen they suck at lying i mean do they really believe we will fall for such rubbish? Personally i don't bother to make much of a fuss as i see not point if he can lie to me and think i am naive enough to believe him then i have got him where i want him thinking he can pull the wool over my eyes it just gives me more of an insight into his mind but leaves him thinking he knows me when he really doesn't this gives me my edge!
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