Is this the only escape?

Damaged by the hate you bring,

I feel your evil presence inside of me,

Like a dark cloud i am haunted by this curse,

Following me even in my sleep,

In the nightmares i am more awake.

In my shattered existence, there is one escape,

Distracting myself, with a new found pain,

As the blade digs through, i feel my release,

If i went too far this time, do not save me,

In death i am truly free.

An apology cannot take this hurt from me,

It's not OK, i feel so crazy,

Bruises may heal,

But your words cut so deep.

I am fragile inside,
Easily convinced of each new failure you find,

I make mistakes, i do not deny,

But you are without sin,

Though the example you set, is all i can see.

I cannot keep up with all your new rules,

I cannot live my life, for fear of your disapproval,

So live in your double standard,

If it pleases you, i will never be right,

So just leave me this way,

Crying in to my hands,

I still fight to keep back each tear,

I will not give you the satisfaction,

Of enjoying all you did.

I have now found the way,

It became clear while you were beating me,

Its either you or me,

The escape is sweet, when your blood drips on to me.