Through your eyes!

Words have no meaning, when my thoughts are of you,

You tell it like it is with your bitter sweet kiss,

Your lips speak of blissfulness,

But that isn't what the true message is,

You hide behind an image,

The real you no one knows,

But i can see beyond the smokescreen,

To a world beneath your eyes,

To know the world through your view,

Is to know of beauty and pain,

I see innocence lost,

Stolen in a vanity like game,

They say life is a game,

I intend not to partake,

For the lost souls who do,

Will be lost in their own disgrace,

How can they know what it feels like to played,

If they cannot see your heart as you bury down the pain!

Silence breaks through me, shivering at your thought, each memory taunting me, a constant reminder of how i once was so lost, time is a said healer, but i am plagued by your demons still, its been 6years, you affect me even now!

Painful perspective!

Do you ever wonder,

What it is like to see the world,

Through the darkness which clouds my eyes?

You believe something simple, could take away this hate,

Its not a task you're willing to take,

So why tell me to smile?

I can't pretend i am not dying inside,

Just to benefit your beliefs,

You have never questioned, why my words are cold,

I am not loved or in love,

So this anger takes hold,

If you knew the evil I've seen,

You would feel the same!

I'll never know anything but pain,

This is how i have been raised,

Awakened to this torture,

From a very young age,

Innocence stolen.

You say past is past,
But i disagree,

You never forget,

It stalks my every dream,

Turning something promising,

In to my next nightmare.

Constantly running from demons,

I can't face dealing with this,

It is easier to repress for the moment,

But this escape never lasts,

It will come back to hurt me again.

Tortured soul!

You intoxicate me,

My addiction is blinding me,

Your kind words feeding my every need,

Couldn't live without the inebriation you bring,

You tell me i am just a messed up girl,

How did you figure out my insanity is just a smokescreen,

To distract attention from what is truly haunting me,

Would you hate me for loving the release you bring?

You are my drug, i will never be free,

You think you know me, but you only know the person i pretend to be,

Care free and tough on the outside,

Inside it tears me apart.

So fragile and easily broken,

So used to the deception of mankind,

Unexpected was your loving nature,

It sparks my addiction,

Your sweetness and flavour!

No one else to save me from harming me,

Watching the blood as it drips,

It only hurts for just one minute,

But not having you will forever burn within my tortured soul,

This knife shall divert my attention,

To another pain i can focus upon,

While i am lost without your drug,

It still torments me to feel all i could have,

When it will never be!

What if i was to mention,

How my life completely revolves around you?

I am lost without your words,

I'd put my trust in no one else,

Would you hate for being in love with you?

You'll never know, how long i've wandered,

Around, waiting for someone like you,

Tortured is the soul, knowing you're not here for me to hold,

Everytime i see your face,

I am blinded by the sweetness in your grace,

Its an addiction to your kindhearted ways,

I've never felt such love,

You respect me for myself,

What will be, will be!

You question me,

So constantly, i do not know NOW!

Because i don't have the answers that you seek,

It drives you mad, how i can never plan ahead,

But i prefer the spur of the moment,

Impulse has always driven me,

You're need for confirmation, does not impress me in the least,

I will not change, just to suit your whiny needs,

I don't live life down on my knees,

Because i can be free,

So don't depend on me, because it does not change a thing?

Its still the exact same you're feeling,

Let it be now,

Abusive and cold, is that how you truly do see me?

Well then why do you still want this?

I know i can be a tad irrational, maybe i anger not so well,

But i have never hit below the belt,

I keep my insults to myself,

Oh how you're pushing me!

Don't try to tame me,

I am the original wild beast,

I'm not ashamed now,

You say to me:

"Where do you see this thing going?"

Questions like this keep me running for the hills,

Why can't you take life as it comes?

It could be love now,

If you'd just let it be,

See where this ride may lead!

I guess i cannot handle the bumps along the road,

Oh well i never anger well,

But i would never kiss and tell on you my friend,

So are you still pretending that you don't recognise my face?

I am crazy as it gets, random so it seems,

I have my secrets, but i'd never lie to you,

You are my secret love, hidden not so well,

And so you wonder how i fell,

I say you pushed me once again,

Now tell me would you take this well?

I hold my head because i can't seem to make sense,

My thoughts are lost, confusion causing so much pain.

Sorry, now

Did i forget your name?

Maybe you did not tell, or did i phase out all your words?

It doesn't fit in, cause it is too irrelevent,

But now you see, how you have driven me,

So messed up inside, i cannot tell a lie.

I'm not going anywhere, but i wouldn't even look your way,

If we ever meet,

I have